Sickness and Dance

I seem to have caught my daughter's cold. It's a tickle in the throat that erupts, from time to time, in coughs that wrack the body like sobs. Ironically, my nose, which habitually bears the brunt of my illnesses, has not yet clogged up completely. I expect it to any day now.

I am experimenting with dancing my illness. In the days leading up, I have not gone into the studio. Five days is a long break for me. There seemed many contributing reasons, but, I suspect now, my body was conserving energy. I found excuses to watch bad TV or take long showers. I have baked bread, cake, and cookies. I have read books to my girls. I have been hibernating.

Today is the first day that I have admitted the symptoms that have gradually developed. In the studio this morning, my aching joints were prominent. Yet, this is not a bad thing necessarily. My primary goal in my movement practice is to increase my awareness of my sensations/emotions. (I may have to invent a single word to cover this combined aspect of the self: sensemotions, for instance.) Lying on the floor, moving through Bartenieff Fundamentals, I had an easier time isolating muscles than usual. Sometimes a little pain can be constructive.

I generally took extra time and care with my practice. I emphasized the Fundamentals rather than big, energetic movement. I spent a long time walking. Finally, I did move into Efforts and improvised athletically. I had found peace and concentration within my current condition. This describes my overall hopes for my work on any day.

Sensemotions…. My first exposure to the idea that sensations and emotions were intricately linked was Juhan's book Job's Body. Once you accept the fact that body/mind/spirit are the same, this connection is intuitive. He, however, documents the connection with remarkable clarity. The brain is a conglomeration of neurons, the same neurons that swarm the rest of the body. Mind is no separate entity, merely a part of the whole. Sensations are influenced by a variety of factors in transmission through the nervous system. Emotions, associations, and history directly influence the experience of sensations. Thus, increased awareness of body sensations increases your awareness of your emotions. Study of the body is study of the self. I see no end to this journey.