Philly Dance Show on Saturday and Sunday!

I'm starting to get nervous. My time in the studio today was all about being careful. Poised on one foot, ready to fall, I extended out instead, then shifted weight in some more stable way. I'm afraid that I may want to perform well too much. It's not good to approach a performance by wanting to do well. You end up overdoing the movement, which makes you sloppy, bullish, ahead of your cues. Better to approach a performance with the peaceful attention of one about to sit down and write a letter. You may wax profound in a letter, but it doesn't matter because your buddy will probably forgive you.
 
That being said, it was a lovely time. I circulated the air in my lungs and in the room. I observed both the anxiety of anticipation and the thrill of it: real emotions are never entirely one way, but joy will contain regret; sadness, a tiny crystal of relief.
 
I felt my fear for Maya, who, at 2.5 years, is growing more independent. Yesterday in the playground, she finally mastered climbing the curving metal ladder up to the slide. I have been accustomed to spotting her in this endeavor, but am no longer needed. Her pleasure showed in her red face; my terror, in my clenched throat. There are so many potential accidents in this world! If you look for them, you see them everywhere.
 
More terrible, she has begun to run away from me! Yesterday, she was playing behind a statue, but, when I looked around, she had bolted across the park. She stood at the road, not daring, yet, to step in--mercy! In the studio today, I felt pain in the shoulder to which I clamped her when I caught up. She is changing and I must change too, but when can I trust her to navigate city streets? Not today.
 
Come see our show! Human Landscape Dance will perform with Anne-Marie Mulgrew and Dancers Co in the Philadelphia/Washington DC Exchange at the Painted Bride Art Center in Philly, Saturday May 29 at 7:30pm and Sunday May 30 at 3pm. We will premiere January Night and Closet Dances.